Girl Talk
by TheNuttyCracker
Summary: In which Lily chooses to complain about James Potter, and Marlene chooses not to listen.


**Author's Note:**

 **This is my first fanfiction, so please enjoy and leave as much feedback as possible! Anything said can help me improve and advance my writing, so please review! Thank you all so much for reading!**

 **Disclaimer: I am, sadly, not J.K Rowling and therefore don't own any characters from Harry Potter.**

* * *

"He's a bloody effing twat!" Marlene Mckinnon winced at the loud, shrill shriek of her roommate, who had just barged into their shared bathroom, red in the face and clearly upset.

"What'd he do this time?" She asked, not even questioning who it was Lily Evans was talking about. Complaints about James Potter from his so-called "nemesis" were nothing new.

"He interrupted Fabian Prewett -Fabian Prewett!- from asking me to Hogsmeade this weekend!"

Lily gestured wildly as she spoke, neither noticing nor caring that Marlene had yet to look at her. "It's one thing for him to make me look like a giant arse in front of the entire school on a daily basis, but Fabian was going to ask me out, Marlene! Hot Fabian, who hadn't asked a single girl before me out!"

"Well, James is the jealous type." Marlene spoke calmly, as if this type of conversation wasn't out of the ordinary, which it wasn't. James had a knack for winding Lily up so much that nearly every day ended with Lily screaming about him to anyone who would listen.

"Yeah, but he's not my boyfriend! He doesn't have a say in who I choose to spend my Hogsmeade visits with!"

"Well, Lily, if you gave him a chance…" Marlene started looking over to her friend, and found her face trapped in an obviously disgusted expression.

"Marls, how could you even say that to me? It's like you want me to puke!"

"Aw, come on Lils, you know it would solve all your problems, and deep down everyone knows you love him!" Marlene choked down laughter as Lily's face grew more and more repulsed. While James might be good at knowing just how to make Lily pissed, he wasn't the only one.

"Ugh! I don't know why I even talk to you! You want us to date just as much as he does!" With that, Lily turned around and flung herself onto her bed, screaming into her bedspread.

"Just think of how much fun it would be! Instead of throwing insults at him, you can throw yourself at him instead!" Marlene laughed out loud this time, pleased with herself for coming up with something new. She didn't like to recycle the jokes she told Lily about her relationship with James. Marlene might have been a huge supporter of Lames (the name Sirius had coined for the two), but she enjoyed a laugh every so often.

"Marlene!" Came the screech of the redhead, who was trying to hold back giggles herself. "I'd rather date the giant squid than ever even let Potter touch me!" She called back, letting a few giggles escape.

"Well, the giant squid does have quite a few tentacles, while James only has two hands…" Marlene shouted back, finished in the bathroom and now making her way to where Lily was lying, face still buried in blankets.

"Marlene!" Lily gasped into her bed, shocked about her friend's innuendo. She turned her face towards her roommate and said "You know that just because you shagged Sirius last term doesn't mean you have to talk about such dirty things!" She playfully pushed Marlene away, trying to hide her smile.

"Such dirty things, eh? You can't fool me, Lily Evans! The whole school knows about what you and Benjy Fenwick did inside Filch's supply closet last year!"

"That was a one time thing! Neither of us really knew what we were doing!" Lily cried back, cheeks bright red.

"Is that why the two of you were shoving your tongues down each others' throats afterwards? I was the unlucky one who caught you in a corridor!" Marlene faked gagging and continued, "I still have nightmares about that day!"

Lily laughed, on the verge of tears while she thought back to that event. "We split just days after that! You can't hold it against me!"

Marlene smiled at this, seeing an opportunity to annoy her friend. "I do remember that. James was dating Dorothy Thomas at the time, wasn't he?" She glanced down at Lily, whose laughter had been replaced by a frown.

"Maybe? Why would I care?" She responded, remembering all too well just who James had been dating at the time.

"Well, didn't you break up with Benjy the same day he broke up with Dorothy?" Marlene smirked, knowing how riled up Lily was going to get.

"As I recall, I broke up with Benjy that morning, and he broke with Dorothy right before dinner." Lily eyed her friend cautiously, a bit unsure where she was going with this.

"Well, I know from trustworthy sources that he only dated her to make you jealous, my dear, and it worked too!" Marlene said smugly when she saw the look that crossed Lily's face.

"What!?" Lily sat straight up, staring Marlene down with what only could be described as utter confusion. "What do you mean it worked? I was not, am not, and will never be jealous of any slag that cozies up to Potter!"

Marlene laughed at that, knowing she'd got what she wanted, a rise of her roommate. "I'm not so sure about that one, my dear. Every time Lindy Dearborn even looks at him you get red in the face and start muttering about how much of a slag she is!"

"Well, that's because, um, well.." Lily fought to find the right words, knowing that no matter what she said, Marlene would either find a way to twist them, or deny that they were the truth. "Well, it's not like he doesn't get jealous too! Every time someone asks me out, he finds a way for them to have to cancel our date! Hell, he jinxed Benjy all the way to the moon when we first started going out!"

"I never said that he wasn't jealous too, only that you were." Marlene poked her friend, who looked quite upset at the moment. "And you just confirmed for me that you were jealous too!" She laughed at the girl, who looked even more pissed than she had been seconds ago.

"Shut up, I wasn't jealous! Lindy's slept with nearly half the sixth year Ravenclaws!" Lily whined, trying to make up for her poor choice of words. "Besides, why would I care about who James gets on with?"

Marlene laughed at this, and winked at Lily. "Uh, duh. Because you love him, you idiot." She said as though nothing had ever been so obvious.

"I what?! I do… of all the ridiculous things… love him?!" Lily sputtered out, the wheels in her head spinning at the speed of light. "Marlene, I've never gone a day without complaining about him, not to mention the constant fights Potter starts with me!"

"James only starts fights with you because he knows he's the only one who makes you that emotional!" Marlene spoke, rather put off that her best friend couldn't see what she saw. She tried often to convince Lily of how perfect a couple her and James would make, but it never worked. "The boy's not a complete bloody moron, he knows why he can make you that way."

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head violently. "And why exactly does he make me that way?" She didn't believe Marlene for a second, and nothing could convince her otherwise.

"Lily, why are you such an idiot?" Marlene groaned, as Lily pouted back. "Because you love him, he loves you but you don't want to admit that you like him, despite his ugly qualities."

"By ugly qualities do you mean how he's an arrogant, bullying toerag who can't get over himself?" Lily shot back at Marlene, who was looking increasingly annoyed at the other girl.

"Lily, you may not want to admit it to yourself, but you love him. I can see it, James can see it, even hot Fabian can see it! Everyone can see it, Lils, except you! Ugh!" Marlene huffed and, having grown tired of arguing her clearly correct point, got up off the bed and went back into the bathroom, presumably to redo her makeup or brush her hair again after getting all worked up- over someone else's love life!

Lily groaned and rolled back to her position in which she had her face stuffed in the mattress. She hated her friends, she hated boys, in fact she hated everyone in general. She wished that people would just shut up and let her scream at them about her problems, without digging into her subconscious. She also hated when people were so so right, and she was so so wrong. Face still covered, she muttered to herself, making sure Marlene couldn't hear her say "Is it really that obvious?"


End file.
